Home/How a meeting works
Before you go
How an A.A. meeting works
Meetings are far more ordinary than most people imagine. An hour, a circle of chairs, a kettle, and a group of people talking honestly about something they all understand.
The shape of an hour
Most KZN meetings run for about an hour. Someone chairs, there is usually a short reading, and then either a member shares their story or the room discusses a topic. Toward the end a basket goes round. Afterwards people stand about with tea for a while — often the most useful part of the evening for a newcomer.
Five things that surprise people
You need not give your name
Nobody asks, and no attendance is taken. Members introduce themselves by first name only, and even that is a choice. If a court or employer needs a card signed, most secretaries will do it without noting who you are.
You need not speak
Many members share, but staying quiet is completely normal — some people listen for weeks before they say a word. Nobody goes round the room putting anyone on the spot.
Nobody will ask why you are there
At open meetings there are often family members, friends and visitors as well as alcoholics. Why you came is nobody’s business but your own.
The basket is not a collection plate
It pays the rent on the room, the tea and the literature — nothing else. Members give what they can afford. First time here? Please let it pass you by.
Nobody will mention that you were there
Whatever you see and hear in a meeting stays in the meeting. That is not a nicety; it is one of the traditions the whole fellowship is built on.
It is not a religious service
Meetings are held in church halls, community centres, clinics and school rooms all over KZN, simply because that is where affordable rooms are. A.A. has no religious affiliation. Many members come to rely on a higher power of their own understanding; many others do not, and get sober all the same.
Practical questions
What should I wear?
Whatever you have on. People come straight from building sites, offices, hospitals and the beach.
Can I come if I have been drinking?
Yes — provided you are not disruptive, and please do not drive. Many of us first came in less than sober. If you are very unwell, phone the helpline first and let a member help you work out the safest next step.
Can I bring my partner or a friend?
To any meeting marked Open, yes. Closed meetings are for people with a drinking problem of their own. The meeting list marks every meeting.
What if I get there and cannot go in?
It happens more often than you would think, and there is no shame in it. Sit in the car, phone 031 143 5722, and somebody will talk to you — or come out and walk in with you.